I started what will be termed "my new life" today. I've already determined it sucks wind, but I also know it will get better. It's all a mind game at this point. Breads, sugar and beer are dead to me. DEAD! I will not mourn them. They like to make me think they love me; however, they secretly hate me and live to make me fat. (this is what I've been playing in my head today) As many of you know, I've formally lived healthy lifestyles and enjoyed it. You just have to get your mind brainwashed to that side of thinking. It's not that it's hard to enjoy good foods--they're tasty. It's learning to hate the junk food that is so addictive. 
Get over that hump and you've got it made. If all those junkies I watch on Intervention can overcome crack cocaine, surely I can get past never having a hamburger bun again. (mmmmm, hamburger buns...) I can do this for the next 3 weeks, then the band is going to help me and life will be okey dokey. Right? RIGHT?! Just earlier, I was thinking that my other option is to be on that mattress begging for someone to bring me a grilled cheese sandwich or help me into my Rascal scooter. The fun of dating might be gone altogether if I were in that state. Hard to feel sexy while begging for a grilled cheese sandwich covered in baby powder. (I'm not sure why, but I would think that if I were stuck on a mattress and unable to move, I'd want lots of powder on me to feel better.)
Let me explain where the mattress image comes from. It has two roots in my brain. The first one is from seeing The World's Fattest Man at some fair--could've been state, not sure. I was young. One of my siblings was with me, and we walked up to a glass window to see a ginormous man who could only have his privates covered in towels and was laying on a mattress on the floor. It was gross. I was embarassed for him and for all of us staring at him. Homeboy was big, but I think that dude that Richard Simmons helped was bigger. This was before his day, or he could've had the job and homeboy would've been out of work.
The second root of the mattress thought comes from something my mother experienced. While going through EMT training, she was doing her internship thing with the College Station/Bryan ambulance dudes. They get a call and go out to find this disgusting fat man laying on a mattress on the floor with all kinds of filth and stench about him and the mattress. I think they had to get a tarp to get him out of there. She was grossed out and told me the details which were FOUL. So you see, I am terrified to be one of those people.
Until this afternoon, I did not have a copy of The Southbeach Diet, but Courtney told me what I could/could not have. I have to do Phase 1 of it for the next 3 weeks. Got to get my liver sexy, you understand. What I have eaten today is only eggs and chicken breast meat. Tomorrow, I'll go to the store to get more variety and fresh vegetables because I love it. I LOVE LEAN MEAT AND FRESH VEGETABLES.
Get over that hump and you've got it made. If all those junkies I watch on Intervention can overcome crack cocaine, surely I can get past never having a hamburger bun again. (mmmmm, hamburger buns...) I can do this for the next 3 weeks, then the band is going to help me and life will be okey dokey. Right? RIGHT?! Just earlier, I was thinking that my other option is to be on that mattress begging for someone to bring me a grilled cheese sandwich or help me into my Rascal scooter. The fun of dating might be gone altogether if I were in that state. Hard to feel sexy while begging for a grilled cheese sandwich covered in baby powder. (I'm not sure why, but I would think that if I were stuck on a mattress and unable to move, I'd want lots of powder on me to feel better.)Let me explain where the mattress image comes from. It has two roots in my brain. The first one is from seeing The World's Fattest Man at some fair--could've been state, not sure. I was young. One of my siblings was with me, and we walked up to a glass window to see a ginormous man who could only have his privates covered in towels and was laying on a mattress on the floor. It was gross. I was embarassed for him and for all of us staring at him. Homeboy was big, but I think that dude that Richard Simmons helped was bigger. This was before his day, or he could've had the job and homeboy would've been out of work.
The second root of the mattress thought comes from something my mother experienced. While going through EMT training, she was doing her internship thing with the College Station/Bryan ambulance dudes. They get a call and go out to find this disgusting fat man laying on a mattress on the floor with all kinds of filth and stench about him and the mattress. I think they had to get a tarp to get him out of there. She was grossed out and told me the details which were FOUL. So you see, I am terrified to be one of those people.
Until this afternoon, I did not have a copy of The Southbeach Diet, but Courtney told me what I could/could not have. I have to do Phase 1 of it for the next 3 weeks. Got to get my liver sexy, you understand. What I have eaten today is only eggs and chicken breast meat. Tomorrow, I'll go to the store to get more variety and fresh vegetables because I love it. I LOVE LEAN MEAT AND FRESH VEGETABLES.
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1 comment:
Oh! I have the man on the mattress image BURNED into my brain. Beaumont, South something-or-other-Texas state fair. The trailer was blue with a big-ass window.
I know what you mean about the worry, but you are going at this with the right attitude. You'll also get to be my "little" sister again! :-)
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