The No List

There is some new stuff on the NO List. To make the NO List, a food has caused me enough pain, usually for 3-6 hours, that I will never go back. Once you've experienced a NO List food this way, you lose your appetite for it. People wonder how I can survive without the wonderful things in life like bread. It's sort of like breaking up a bad relationship that used to be a really good one. You miss the relationship when it was a good one and do remember the good times; however, you recognize that is not the relationship you would have with him now. Allow me to correct myself. It's EXACTLY like that. I miss General Tso and his chicken, but there ain't NO way we'd have the same love affair!

Here is the list as it stands.

No List:

Chinese Food
Courtney has informed me that MSG swells in the stomach to make you feel more full. That would be a NO! I've tried two things that I thought would work and they did not. Not at all.

Scrambled Eggs
Scares me just thinking about it. Eggs are tricky. Sometimes, I'll fry a couple and only eat the yolk. The white stuff can mess a day up!

Pork
I had to leave work and barf slime 4 times before the pork and I broke up.

Bread in any form
About two fills ago, I had a certain roll dipped in barbeque sauce, and it worked. I tried that again Sunday. 6 hours later, I realized that bread and I are done. I never want to see bread again.

Carrots
Orange bits of rock blocking band.

Raisins
Small and evil. Just the perfect size and strength to block a small opening. If you just got banded and are reading this, trust me.

Microwaved meats
Expecially left over chicken. It never works and scratches the side of your stomach as it goes down slooooowly.

That leaves many foods to enjoy. The thing I've been enjoying the most is thin tortilla chips and queso. Goes down so good! I can also still enjoy corn tortillas which I've always loved, so I'm happy. Much of the Mexican food can still be enjoyed. Sometimes you deeply need some good Tex-Mex. I eat refried beans often. Also, light vienna sausages and cottage cheese are favorites. A week ago I was down 54 lbs. I need to get back to all protein because I lose weight so quickly on that. Since so many vegetables are difficult to eat, it gets boring. It's been about a month of just eating what I can. Time to refocus. I know I can do better.

I did finally purchase some pants that fit. They are 4 sizes smaller than what I'd been wearing. When I wore them to work this week, people finally could see the difference. People had been saying how much thinner my neck and face look, but never mentioned anything else. It's because they really couldn't see it. I was swimming in my clothes. Jewry comes this weekend and we're going to go get me some more things. I have no idea what top size I wear, but it is NOT the size that is in my closet.

Speaking of clothes too big, I did go as a Polygamist Yearning for Zion LDS woman to Halloween parties all last weekend. Cindy was my "sister wife" and her fun boyfriend, David, was our husband. We called him "father" all night. The entire story, with pictures to illustrate, will be unfolded for you Sunday night. My dress was about 5 sizes too big. I wanted to show off my recently excavated waist, then realized that wasn't very modest of me.

Miss me?

I'm back. It's just been so busy that I've not had time to be thoughtful and write. Tonight is the night though. I have found that I've missed writing, even though there's not been time nor inclination when time does allow. All the stars and planets have aligned tonight so that I can sit down and write the news and my thoughts.

First, let's talk lapband, shall we? Let's. I've lost 50 lbs. YEA ME! They are very proud of me at the "fill station". The dr. there told me that they couldn't ask more from me. I'm right on track. I greatly appreciate knowing this because I do, about once a week, take a day or two to eat chips and queso. Yes, chips go down quite easily and the queso and margarita helps. Seriously. I soak the chips in the queso, they soften then I drink the margaritas with them. Drinking, as many of you may remember, is a no-no. I feel like I'm being bad when I drink and eat and I guess I am.

My sweet tooth is gone. Very rarely do I crave something sweet and when I do, one or two bites takes care of it. WEIRD! I don't understand the magic, but I accept it. I've now had 4 fills and I think we're getting there. With this latest fill, I can eat about 3/4 cup of food before it hurts my chest. I should probably stop 1-2 bites before I do. I just had it Thursday and still am not to solid meats, so definitely in the learning mode. Learning=Pain.

After each fill, I'm convinced I'll never be able to enjoy food again and have a night of pain and sadness. Don't feel bad for me though--it's just part of the process I think. After 4 fills, I have seen the pattern. It's kind of like when you're PMS-ing and insane. You know that it's a momentary insanity (although some of us have to write letters to ourselves to remind us that it is the hormones. I'm not going to name names ((really)), but I have a friend who would get so insane with her PMS that she wrote herself a note to be handed to her by her boyfriend when she was in crazy mode. This note was from my friend to herself. If memory serves me, which is always questionable, the letter reminded her that she was insane from hormones only and asked herself to calm down. This could be a Seinfeld episode.) So I have an evening of being distraught while I'm in pain from eating soup, let's say. The next day, I begin to heal a bit more and the sun starts to come out. Today was a better day, but Saturday night, I had my first full fledge puking. NOT your regular deal here either.

I had soup for dinner on Friday night at Chili's. Chicken enchilada soup--devine! It was so good that I ordered two more orders of it to go. I successfully ate it for lunch on Saturday, then was having it for dinner and it was a no. A big, big NO. So there I am in horrible pain, spitting slime into a cup for an hour and a half. I go ahead and get ready for bed, lay down to watch tv. I know I'm going to be exhausted when it finally passes. After a while in bed, I start coughing. Cough, Cough, Cough PUKE! All over my sheets and comforter. I didn't care that I had to clean the bed, the pain was gone!

I can only imagine the freak show that the first lap band person must've lived. I'd have thought I was dying if I didn't know someone before me had been successful at this business. Crazy Crazy stuff, friends. With this last fill, I'm not completely sure what the yes and no list is these days. I'm going to be eating mostly mushies for another week. That soup incident fuh-reaked me out. (Remember, I go into detail for those of you curious. If you aren't curious, skim on.)

No clothes in my closet fit me. None. Every pair of pants I own that I can get into can be taken off without unbuttoning them. If they have to be unbuttoned to be removed, I can't get my butt into them. I have maybe two shirts that are flattering. I'm smaller than people know I think but you can't tell because my clothes are all so big. I'm not buying until I absolutely must. Getting close to that point. Happy problem to have, I suppose.

I bought a Wii system and some games. I rationalized it by saying that I won't buy a gym membership and the games will get me off the couch some. I did buy Dance Dance Revolution Hottest Party. I'm cool like that and I have hot parties. Hot parties where we bounce around like dorks. Sexy, hot, partying dorks. My neice and nephew are going to love it. I think my 'rents (that's parents) will enjoy it more than they know.

Let me tell you about painting. It sucks hot wind. SUUUUUCKS. Never again. One wall is Pool Party blue, the other is Island Orange. I adore the colors. They are exactly what I'd envisioned. Island Orange took a primer coat then a gallon and a quart of paint and it still could've used two more coats. I surrendered to the wall. It won. Looks grrrreat, just as it is. It took me two evenings from 4:30 to 8:00 and one Saturday morning from 8-12 along with 3 trips to Lowes. My equipment kept getting upgraded. It was only two walls, so I thought the cheap equipment would do it. Negatory. I wanted the good stuff by the third trip and I bought it. The trim still needs two touch ups and I can't face it. It calls to me, but I ignore it. Doesn't bother me if I don't look at it, so I don't.

I'm watching Antique Roadshow while I type this. A lady bought a pitcher and bowl in Intercourse, Pennsylvania. No lie. She just said Intercourse, Pennsylvania on national television with a straight face. She's a better woman than I.