It's Tomorrow!

I started the ball rolling in March and tomorrow it happens. YIKES! I woke up today and had a moment where it hit me.

Been a weird day emotionally. Woke up today and realized it's my last day as me as I know me. Weird. We were all dressed and ready, Alissa was coming for a visit in the afternoon. I get a phone call just before she's coming that my surgeon's office didn't get my lab work. Long story short, I had a very short time to get my self to a lab where my doctor had faxed a prescription for blood work labled "stat". I swear, that's what it was--STAT. I asked the tech what that meant to her. She said it meant she had 4 hours to get the results to the surgeon's office. Seeing how it was around 3 by the time she got my blood, I'm thinking she had 2 hours to get it all figured out. She wanted to know wtf happened. I explained that the surgeon's office was distracted by my extreme beauty. The bitch laughed out loud. My delusions bring people such joy.

Bekah and I went out for some things then. Can't be a complete day lately unless I've spent a bunch of money on stuff for the new place until my feet are killing me. We had to go to Target and IKEA. Good thing I don't have to pay for the surgery now!

When the shopping was over, we went to Matito's for dinner. It was nice to get cute and go somewhere to sit, not work. But, once we got home, back to work. Bek and I hung the drapes in the living room. I know why there are professional curtain hangers. Not a fun job. Bek was my assistant, which turned out to mostly be screw picker upper. Long story about hanging them in the living room over the blinds. Bottom line, the mounting of the blinds stayed, but we ended up taking down the blinds. They look super cute hidden under my bed!

So, back to the whole belly thing...such a strange thing to know that the piece of fish, black beans and vegetables was the last large plate of food I'll ever eat. I can't even imagine it. Scary for some reason. It's as if it is insurance that finally a freakin diet will last longer than the 5 year life average I have going. I honestly think I'll feel more secure in having a long term relationship with a man. What you see really is what you'll get with me. All my old ghosts can't come back. I can't freakin' eat enough to do damage to myself emotionally as well as physically, so I can feel better in about 9 kinds of ways. Am I going to miss big meals that stuff me until I am a lazy cow? What about my love of cooking good food? All kinds of questions. When these concerns come up, I soothe the mind by reminding myself that alcohol will still be there for me. I still have that one fun vice. If you think I'm kidding, raise your hand. You know me so well.

Tomorrow, Rebekah is in charge of documenting the whole thing on camera. She asked me today if she should take a picture of the bloody cotton ball from the hole in my arm where they took blood at the lab. (Who in the world taught her to be such a smart ass?) After surgery, Rebekah is going to text those of you who've asked. Surgery is scheduled for 9:30. Hopefully it will be the "all is well" message and not the "Sara is puking her toes off" message. The surgeon gave me a fancy new pill that he is hoping will for once allow me to have surgery and not projectile vomit. I did so once on my mother as she stood at the end of my bed. I'm special.

My big fears about tomorrow are that I'll be sick from the surgery and the pain from the gas. Surgeon and Michelle have both said that I'll have to walk to help get that gas dispersed in my body. When I puke after surgery, I'm OUT of it so walking really isn't possible, plus moving can make me sick. I PRAY that magic pill works. My mother has already wanted to put a trash can in my bedroom. No lie, friends. Sigh.

Best thing about tomorrow--nothing to buy, nothing to make my feet hurt and not a box in sight. Go, Fight, Win!